Thursday, July 26, 2012

Don't "overdo it"

So It hit me today that I find it very annoying when everyone tells me not to "overdo" it. I would like to think that with all the crap I have faced in my life I know my limitations, but apparently the majority of people don't agree with my assessment of what I do and don't know about my abilities.

I guess I look at it this way - if I never push myself how will I truly know what my limitations are AND leave me alone I am an adult I can make my own decisions lol. At the beginning of the year I felt that exercising would be the best thing for me to help maintain what lung function I had at the beginning of this whole "chronic rejection" debacle. I began working toward my goal of running (really any distance since I hate running). I did well considering all the things working against me, then I messed my knee up and took some time resting that up. I was still working out but I wasn't running cause it was painful. Then about 2 weeks after I had started with the running I went to the doc and realized I had lost about 10 lbs since I started running. We (myself and the docs) realized that my body was really working a lot harder to breathe now so that contributed to my weight loss. I took some time off and was told to resume but stick with walking versus running. I have done that when I have gone to the gym, but do believe that I will be attempting a little bit of "trotting" again soon.

Now the problem that everyone is seeming to feel the need to make sure I don't "overdo it"with is working and school. Nevermind the fact that I took the summer off school in order to recoup from the multiple hospital stays and the rigorous med regimen that I have had to deal with (all the med changes and multiple steroid tapers) since the beginning of the year. I have also come to the decision to quit my job and resume classes full time. I am already signed up for 4 classes and am attempting to get into a 5th for the fall semester. If I am able to get into all 5 classes and make it through the 16 weeks of torture it will make the next few semesters a cake walk for me in terms of what I need to do to graduate. I get that people don't want me to wear myself down, but it is frustrating because I want to scream I am not an invalid. I am only working. I struggled in the spring semester because I was working 35+ hours a week and attending classes 8 hours a week and then dedicating at least 12 hours a week to homework. So basically I was working a full time job (work) and part time job (school) and I was trying to maintain having a life. Then when you throw in the Chronic Rejection diagnosis, hospital stays, doctor's appointments every week I was going nuts trying to fulfill all of my obligations. I am putting in my notice within days and will finish work on August 16 or so and start classes on August 20th. I will be taking classes about 30 hours a week and probably about 15 hours of homework a week. I am freeing up about 12 hours or more of my time and I am more stable health wise. I know it may not seem like a whole ton of extra time, but I am also saving the travel time from work to school to work to home to where ever. I just wish that people could see the whole picture and not just spaz out when I say I may be taking 5 classes this semester. Oh well - I guess it is what it is. I am still going to be me - stubborn me and do what I want to do, which if possible will be to take 5 classes this semester.

Hopefully I will shut everyone up by passing all the courses with As or Bs and make it to spring semester without any serious issues.

Either way I have to do it just so I can say I wasn't overdoing it.

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