Taking a Deep Breath

Well I can finally say - I am able to relax. After the past few months of dealing with the changing medical "stuff", work and finishing up the semester everything is finally calming down a little.

I finished up the semester about a week ago, and by the grace of God was able to pass my Organic Chemistry class this (2nd) time around. Considering I missed every class after our Spring Break due to doctor's appointments I am taking my C and running. My other class I made an A (woo hoo!). I have decided to take the summer off in order to relax and enjoy myself a little. I don't really have much of a plan as to what I am going to do I just know it consists of whatever the heck I want to do is what I am going to do.

I just started working my modified/decreased work schedule and am already feeling better about it. A bit less stress honestly and even though the decreased income is going to bite a little I am okay with it. I am moving home with my mother for a few months so I can determine exactly how much money I will have to live off and to pay some bills off. After a few months I do believe that I will be moving in with Paul. The biggest bummer in all of that is that Paul is going to have custody of my furry munchkin while I am staying with my mother. Indie (furry munchkin) and my mom's dog Makena (her furry munchkin) do not get along. Indie will hopefully miss me, but she loves Paul and his Dogter Sara so I am sure she will have fun with him.

Beyond that I am wrapping up my annual appointments for my transplant anniversary this coming week. I have had most of the "big" testing already and am excited to say that I have been stable now for the past month. I am a bit relieved and am looking forward to meeting with the doc on Thursday to get some questions answered and to find out where we go from here.

I am also very excited about the fundraising efforts my friends, family and myself are starting. I have gone through a heaping amount of money since the beginning of the year due to all of the medication changes, increase in doctor's appointments and the work I have missed because of them, so we are trying to build up my transplant fundraising account again. I am so excited about what we have going on and that my best friend volunteered to be my chairperson. She is awesome and really has everything together to make this be a successful and FUN task.

I am starting this week thinking that I need to change my mindset, the past few months have had me on edge and beyond irritable with most everyone for no real reason, and I am wanting to just relax and enjoy the summer starting with this week. I am so thrilled and in 2 days will be celebrating my Mom's birthday and MY transplant anniversary day. I am going to be writing a follow up letter to my donor's family this week and turning that in on Thursday when I see my doctor/coordinator. I have written to them once before when I was roughly 1 year post transplant. I never heard back from them and though I have wanted to write to them again since that time I haven't because I was afraid to bring up a painful memory. I decided a few months ago I needed to write again just to let them know I am still holding strong and am still thankful everyday for

the second chance I was given because of their generosity.

I am looking forward to tomorrow and it being the start of my happy summer :) and hopefully a continued happy that will stretch through the remainder of the year!

Changing

So the past few months have been a bit hectic and full of well honestly crap ... with a little bit of good thrown in. I have gone through about 3-4 different treatments for Chronic Rejection and this last one seems to maybe be working. I say maybe because I am afraid to get my hopes up. I started this whole mess at 2.9 liters of lung function and am now sitting at 2.00 liters roughly, with my lowest being 1.85 liters. I was told at my last appointment 2 weeks ago that if the medication change the doctors were trying did not work that I would be facing re-evaluation for another transplant.

Not the news anyone wanted to hear. Right now my biggest concern is getting my blood sugar under control again and keeping an eye on my kidneys. With all of the medication changes and the fact that my docs maxed out my anti rejection medication my kidneys had taken a hit. I have had swelling in my ankles and feet, which is joyous. I am hoping that over the coming weeks and month or so that issue will go away.

I am cutting hours back at work in order to give myself a break. It sucks to not have the same money coming in as I always have, but I am getting more and more drained each week that I am working the same full time schedule. I have started the processes for all of the stuff I need to do, now it is just a matter of completing all of the things I need to get done in order to cut my hours back, get back on disability, get my insurance changed and so on.

I go back to the doc tomorrow for some more testing to see if the new meds are doing what the docs what them to do. If so then it looks like I will have dodged the re-evaluation bullet for now. I am hoping for that outcome, but am mentally prepared for anything. As I told a friend of mine before her transplant "Hope for the best, prepare for the worst."

In other news - Easter was fun. I got the dogs some toys and of course dog treats. I don't think they understood the reason, but they were happy nonetheless. Now I am just sitting here thinking of how I need to be in bed but continuing to play on the computer. I guess on that note I will force myself to log off. I just wanted to post an update. I have been meaning to for weeks but have had issues with my computer and blogging via phone just isn't the same.